You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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