Already got asked if we're dating
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you will always have a special place in my vag
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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