You're so nebulous sometimes
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
