long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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