Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize