He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
