I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
