I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
i am craving dick and cupcakes
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
