We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
How external is "for external use only"?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
