I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Come see our sink grown plant.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
