Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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