We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
