if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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