she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We are all done wearing pants today
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
