I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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