Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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