But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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