Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
