I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize