So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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