On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
