Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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