told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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