Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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