Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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