It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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