Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
