just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
