I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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