Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
