You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
