When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
