Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.

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(203): No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket. http://tfl.nu/3z5u

Replies (31) Good night (778) Bad night (2397)
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(416): View more from Ontario

Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.

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(416): Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins. http://tfl.nu/wh0f

Replies (23) Good night (2998) Bad night (655)
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(913): View more from Kansas

The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.

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(913): The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them. http://tfl.nu/9puy

Replies (22) Good night (8292) Bad night (729)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.

(416): View more from Toronto

Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!

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(519): Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit. (416): Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?! http://tfl.nu/iavy

Replies (39) Good night (10414) Bad night (1235)
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(845): View more from New York

The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.

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(845): The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor. http://tfl.nu/klg7

Replies (5) Good night (3890) Bad night (1425)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?

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(616): Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by? http://tfl.nu/1ke1

Replies (28) Good night (1665) Bad night (7840)
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(251): View more from Alabama

Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.

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(251): Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call. http://tfl.nu/u2ur

Replies (8) Good night (1324) Bad night (4097)
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(616): View more from Michigan

you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way

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(616): you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way http://tfl.nu/p3hb

Replies (19) Good night (765) Bad night (6614)
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(212): View more from New York

1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.

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(212): 1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square. http://tfl.nu/c9pr

Replies (4) Good night (2460) Bad night (997)
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(563): View more from Iowa

Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.

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(563): Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit. http://tfl.nu/it5v

Replies (8) Good night (1464) Bad night (690)
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(718): View more from New York

I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"

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(718): I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch" http://tfl.nu/8il5

Replies (10) Good night (1292) Bad night (446)
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(678): View more from Georgia

No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!

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(678): No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing! http://tfl.nu/2stv

Replies (1) Good night (588) Bad night (278)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.

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(337): She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last. http://tfl.nu/3f1e

Replies (3) Good night (853) Bad night (250)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.

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(763): I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus. http://tfl.nu/3187

Replies (0) Good night (257) Bad night (374)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"

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(919): You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs" http://tfl.nu/7e2r

Replies (1) Good night (604) Bad night (223)

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