"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
