im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.