I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
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I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
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He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.