I faked an abortion last night.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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