would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
