Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
