He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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