Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
dude i'm inner monologue high
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
