On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
love makes seman taste better
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
