I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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