Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize
