They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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