So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
