you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
