I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize