What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
