Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
