I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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