I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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