Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
