Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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