WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
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She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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