Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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