Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Two words: blizzard sex
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
