i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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