I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
