Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
