I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
