Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
