u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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