Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
