u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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