So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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