There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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