just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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